Being part of this virtual world was its own love language.

We are two people and a dog, and we live in a two-bedroom apartment in Los Angeles. Which is more than fine. But in June 2020, it was not. That summer, the office where my husband Abe spends all day editing two TV shows was overheating from the direct sunshine and computers. There was no space outside to just sit and breathe, without masks on. Someone was always walking by, someone’s kitchen window was always to our left or right.

Abe and I toyed with the idea of moving. Maybe subletting our place for a few months and going east…

In 2009, I created a personal food blog/podcast called “The Actor’s Diet.” Whenever I told people, they’d automatically snicker, “So what exactly is the actor’s diet — cigarettes and coffee?”

And then I would tell them about my history with eating disorders. And then they would quickly change the subject.

Because eating disorders are uncomfortable to talk about, even though they’re so common. Growing up, I just figured my binge eating disorder was an every day part of life. …

“Oh wow. She looks like one of those Japanese dolls.”

That’s one of my first memories, gazing up at my mother’s friends who ooh-ed and ahhh-ed over my perfect, silky black hair. They were all white.

“Say thank you,” my mother instructed, and I immediately obliged, even though we were Taiwanese. I was only a kid, but I knew this was weird. They were giving me compliments, but they were all based solely on my looks. And they were saying I was different. And I didn’t want to be different.

I showed my mother a photo of what I wanted to look like. We were one of very few non-white…

July, 2006

I’m on one end of the couch, the usual side (the one facing the window where I can stretch my legs out and watch TV if I turn my head to the right) and my Jack Russell, Julius, is on the other. As always, he is sleeping. Paws crossed.

Before leaving, I cover the couch with a waterproof blanket that has 344 (mostly positive) reviews on Amazon from other (mostly sane) pet owners. Although Julius now wears a diaper, he will sometimes Houdini/wriggle himself out of it, so the blanket is more of a safeguard. Incontinence is just one of…

So, my father’s dead.

See? Here we are at his funeral back in 2012.

If you think I sound waaaaay too casual about this, it’s because I’ve already processed his death. Like, completely. Fully. I did it with my family. I did it with my friends. I did it with my shrinks (TWO of them). And I did it with strangers — online. I blogged when he went into the hospital, I blogged when he was in Intensive Care for 2 weeks. I blogged about the progression of his health. Then I blogged when he died suddenly, unexpectedly.

Most people…

Puberty at New England Music Camp

That’s right, I went to band camp. I was one of those losers who could only find popularity and love tucked away in the woods of Maine, far from the jocks of my small, New Jersey suburb who couldn’t understand the difference between piano (the instrument) and piano (the dynamic). I arrived on the first day, twelve-years-old, 400 miles away from home, and vomiting. The night before, my parents and I stayed at the home of some family friends in Connecticut, where I had spent the entire evening upright in bed, wide awake and wheezing. This was pretty common —…

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